Finally said something

As I had dreaded, my Dad finally mentioned you today. I somewhat froze for a milisecond before I managed to shake it off and tell them I didn't want to talk about it today. My eyes started to water and I was really trying hard not to start crying because I was trying to cook. My parents instantly knew that something was wrong. Mom was freaking out a little, thinking that I had heard what was going on with you. I managed to say that you were okay. That's when mom made dad leave the kitchen and took over my cooking, getting me to talk to her. I told her what you said about caring for me deeply and because of those feelings we can't be friends or anything, so we should go our seperate ways. By then, I had tears running down my face and she hugged me. She asked if I loved you and I told her yes. It's different with you than with my ex. It's all different with you. I don't want you out of my life, I can't have you out of my life. You have always been around, somewhat lurking in the shadows, but still there. I miss you. I love you.

I can't stop thinking about you and when I do, I have class to hold my focus, but you are in the back of my mind. Lurking.

I keep thinking back to when we were in my room, watching One Peice. How even though it was hot as hell, you still wanted to be close to me. Or when we went camping with your mom and her boyfriend, you finally opened up on the drive there. You relaxed and brought me closer, holding me all the way. You let me fall asleep on your shoulder and kissed me. During that whole week, it was amazing. Yeah, you pulled away a little bit, but I got you to come back to me. If only for a little while before you did it again. But that was okay. You needed your space and I needed mine. But the secret kisses and laying down together in your tent and the looks and the teasing and the wrapping your arms around me and just everything was the best.

How did I just throw that away? But how could you hurt me, too?

That girl. You're best friend, or used to be, or whatever she is. You talked to her more than you talked to me. You told her things before I had to ask you to find out things. It was like she was more important to you than I was. Do you know how that makes me feel? You were my boyfriend, the guy that claimed to love me and even said that you didn't say things you didn't mean, and you put her before me. Am I wrong to be upset and hurt by that? I mean, last I had heard, you weren't even friends with her or even talking to her, but then all of a sudden, you were? What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to feel?

Maybe I did want more than you could give, but you should have tried harder. I tried, but I got tired of trying and feeling like the only one who cared about the relationship.

When I told you that I would do anything to fix this, I honestly meant that. I know I screwed up. Trust me, I do. I learned a valuable lesson from this... But is it really too late to fix things?

My mom says that there might still be a chance seeing as you still haven't defriended me on facebook. She says to just hang back and give things more time to cool down.

Could she be right?

Is there still a chance?