So, I spent the night with my friend/ex-boyfriend. The one who I'm FWBs with from last school year. It was fun, as usual. We played some games, fooled around, and fell asleep. It was the longest I've slept in in forever.
We fell asleep cuddling together, with his arm around me, and I woke up the same way. Not even sure we had moved at all as we slept. It was nice. Having someone to sleep with, share a bed with, again. I miss it. That's part of the reason why I'm FWBs with him. For the companionship and of course, it helps that we are still good friends.
Then, sometime today when we were messing around, I looked into his eyes. There was a look that I can't quite describe. Maybe it was nothing or maybe it was pure lust. I don't know. But there was something there. It made me go back to the day before when we were hanging out downtown when he was telling me some stuff. I think I'm just over analyzing things for no reason. There's nothing there between us anymore, but a small part of me still loves him. I don't think that will ever go away. He was my first in more ways than one. I don't mind that I still love him, but sometimes it's hard. Especially when I can't seem to shake the feeling of nothing has changed. Whenever we are together, it's like we never broke up. That's how we act with each other. Even though, we know that we did break up and this is all for fun.
I just wish things could be easier and it didn't feel so confusing... Because for a brief moment, he was mine and I was his like it used to be.
Which reminds me of something else... When we were together last year, he would always say "mine" and hold me close. I would always agree... He did that last night and today. He said "mine". Now, I don't know if he was just joking or what, but it was like before. It felt like before. I didn't say anything, though. How could I?
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Taking Things Slow, I Hope
So, I met this guy on Wednesday. It was completely random and he actually started the conversation... This is what happened:
I was sitting in a chair in the hang out building at school and I was just taking a break from studying to eat and watch an episode of Doctor Who. Well, this guy sits down in the chair across from me. I don't think much of it because people always just grab a free chair where they can find one. I was going about my business, but then I glance up and he's staring at me. He snaps out of it when he notices I was looking at him and he smiled, apologizing for staring .He said he liked me shirt and thought it was really cool. Somehow, we started to talk for the next hour or so until I had to leave for class. He walked me part way to my class after asking for my number to "bother" me some more. I gave it to him because I liked him, he seemed really cool and we had some things in common.
That's how we met. I was wondering if he'd ever text. I doubted it, but then I saw him on Friday and he ended up texting me later that day, apologizing for not stopping to chat because he had to get to class. We ended up texting for a while and then he came to hang out with me until my bus came.
Friday night was the night of our school's tree lighting ceremony and parade. The road was blocked off, so no bus. I ended up staying until after the parade and ceremony which I spent with him. We talked so much and even decided to try to make more plans to hang out sometime. We both want to see a movie and decided that we should go sometime over break. Then, he said that he would go with me to the two basketball games that I have tickets for since I have no one to go with.
After he left, I had to wait for my parents to come pick me up. He texted me to whole time and all the way up to when I went to bed.
I had a great time with him and I honestly can't wait to hang out with him again. I might be able to see him on Monday when I go back to school to stay with some friends. Let's hope so! I'm really starting to like this guy. He's really cool and nice and fun to be around. Though, I'm not sure if I like him like that or not. I mean, it's totally possible. But we will see. For now, I just wanna hang out with him and let things fal in place. :)
I was sitting in a chair in the hang out building at school and I was just taking a break from studying to eat and watch an episode of Doctor Who. Well, this guy sits down in the chair across from me. I don't think much of it because people always just grab a free chair where they can find one. I was going about my business, but then I glance up and he's staring at me. He snaps out of it when he notices I was looking at him and he smiled, apologizing for staring .He said he liked me shirt and thought it was really cool. Somehow, we started to talk for the next hour or so until I had to leave for class. He walked me part way to my class after asking for my number to "bother" me some more. I gave it to him because I liked him, he seemed really cool and we had some things in common.
That's how we met. I was wondering if he'd ever text. I doubted it, but then I saw him on Friday and he ended up texting me later that day, apologizing for not stopping to chat because he had to get to class. We ended up texting for a while and then he came to hang out with me until my bus came.
Friday night was the night of our school's tree lighting ceremony and parade. The road was blocked off, so no bus. I ended up staying until after the parade and ceremony which I spent with him. We talked so much and even decided to try to make more plans to hang out sometime. We both want to see a movie and decided that we should go sometime over break. Then, he said that he would go with me to the two basketball games that I have tickets for since I have no one to go with.
After he left, I had to wait for my parents to come pick me up. He texted me to whole time and all the way up to when I went to bed.
I had a great time with him and I honestly can't wait to hang out with him again. I might be able to see him on Monday when I go back to school to stay with some friends. Let's hope so! I'm really starting to like this guy. He's really cool and nice and fun to be around. Though, I'm not sure if I like him like that or not. I mean, it's totally possible. But we will see. For now, I just wanna hang out with him and let things fal in place. :)
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