Confused much?

So, I spent the night with my friend/ex-boyfriend. The one who I'm FWBs with from last school year. It was fun, as usual. We played some games, fooled around, and fell asleep. It was the longest I've slept in in forever.

We fell asleep cuddling together, with his arm around me, and I woke up the same way. Not even sure we had moved at all as we slept. It was nice. Having someone to sleep with, share a bed with, again. I miss it. That's part of the reason why I'm FWBs with him. For the companionship and of course, it helps that we are still good friends.

Then, sometime today when we were messing around, I looked into his eyes. There was a look that I can't quite describe. Maybe it was nothing or maybe it was pure lust. I don't know. But there was something there. It made me go back to the day before when we were hanging out downtown when he was telling me some stuff. I think I'm just over analyzing things for no reason. There's nothing there between us anymore, but a small part of me still loves him. I don't think that will ever go away. He was my first in more ways than one. I don't mind that I still love him, but sometimes it's hard. Especially when I can't seem to shake the feeling of nothing has changed. Whenever we are together, it's like we never broke up. That's how we act with each other. Even though, we know that we did break up and this is all for fun.

I just wish things could be easier and it didn't feel so confusing... Because for a brief moment, he was mine and I was his like it used to be.

Which reminds me of something else... When we were together last year, he would always say "mine" and hold me close. I would always agree... He did that last night and today. He said "mine". Now, I don't know if he was just joking or what, but it was like before. It felt like before. I didn't say anything, though. How could I?